You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
