the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize