Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
