True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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