two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
