Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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