I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
