when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
