If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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