I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
