I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
