i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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