youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
