I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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