By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
