I'm jealous of your bromance
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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