my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.