My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's just like the Real World with babies
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
