There was a lot of him and a little penis
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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