would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
