You just made me feel so damn special
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
