Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize