Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
