If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
