I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
