just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
