There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think your dad took our porno
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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