Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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