No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
