I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
A+ Viking dick
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
