They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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