And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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