she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
