and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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