It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
