We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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