Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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