Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I miss vodka workout Fridays
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Of course I have a pirate flag
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
