I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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