We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
