I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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