Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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