Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
