I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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