She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
