Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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