i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
