we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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