Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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