She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
