O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
