i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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