Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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