worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
