my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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