I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize