okay pat passed out under dana's car
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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