There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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