i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
