Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
