I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
