For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
