Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
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Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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