everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
