All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
