I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He shit in the fireplace
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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